mental health

How to choose a therapist, counsellor or coach

August 17, 2021

I'm jess!

Life and leadership coach for women, mental health maven and soul guide.

I support women to do LESS people-pleasing, perfectionism and over-working ... and experience MORE ease, joy, vitality and confidence.


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Finding the right coach, therapist or counsellor really matters! As someone who has made significant investments in coaching and therapy over the last 16+ years, I’ve had my fair share of incredible support and some significant mismatches too. As I look back I see that the mismatches came about when I effectively outsourced my decision and relied on others’ recommendations without checking in as to whether this person was really the right fit for me.

Here are some of the questions I intuitively use to guide me in choosing a therapist, counsellor, coach, or healer – pick and choose the ones that resonate for you.

Do you have a strong connection/chemistry?

When I’m choosing a therapist or coach, I look for a connection that offers both a sense of safety and a sense of excitement/possibility.

What vision are they holding for your future?

 When I was exploring treatment options for my anxiety back in my early twenties, I experienced a lot of providers who offered drugs, techniques or strategies for me to ‘manage’ my ‘disorders’. I was told that I could learn some really good strategies to keep things at bay, with the subtext being that I would need to be vigilant as the black dog would always be just around the corner. It wasn’t until later that I found coaches and healers who lit a path towards complete healing and freedom.

Choose a therapist or coach who can hold a vision for you of the deep healing and freedom that is available for all of us.

Do they have expertise specific to your unique circumstances?

Choose a coach or therapist who has deep expertise in your area of growth, gained through relevant qualifications, personal lived experience and/or years of working with clients grappling with similar challenges. I’d recommend asking them to share examples of outcomes and testimonials from clients who have similar experiences and fears as you.

Have they walked their own path of deep healing and expansion?

Some modalities actively discourage providers from revealing their personal journey to their clients but from my perspective this is beyond essential. In our individualistic modern culture we are so bereft of guides and mentors lighting the path ahead of us.

Only those who are truly sovereign and free themselves can guide you into deep transformation and liberation – otherwise it’s all just theory.

Is their approach grounded in embodiment?

If you’re like most women who come to me struggling with overwhelm, anxiety or self-doubt, a lack of self-awareness is not the issue. You are likely very aware of your unhealthy patterns, having spent years berating yourself for them!

Transformation and freedom lies in EMBODIMENT NOT EDUCATION – deep connection to your body and wild feminine essence, not more information about and identification with your behaviours and patterns.

If this resonates, I invite you to book a free discovery call with me here and put these questions to good use haha!

I'm Jess, mind whisperer, mama & ocean lover

I'm a former lawyer turned women’s leadership and life coach. 

I guide women who have created their success largely through driving, pushing and controlling, to reconnect with their intuition, vitality and radiance.

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 I gratefully acknowledge the Turrbal and Jagera people as the traditional owners of this land upon which I live and work.

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