To my younger self: darling, we made it

Tree

The night before my very first coaching business website went live, I went and sat under my favourite tree in Hyde Park and was completely overcome with emotion.

I wept for the 13 year old who cried herself to sleep most nights worrying that her best friends secretly hated her.

For the 14 year old who despite being a straight A student never raised her hand in class for fear of getting it wrong.

For the 16 year old who stuck her fingers down her throat before a Macy Gray concert because she felt too big in her size 12 jeans.

For the 18 year old who apologised incessantly because she felt she was always in the way or disappointing someone.

For the 19 year old who had such crippling obsessive compulsive disorder that walking to and from work was an ordeal.

For the 20 year old who accepted sex when she actually wanted love. Over and over again.

For the 21 year old who frequently fantasised about not being there at all anymore. Who played chicken with cars on the street late at night.

For the 22 year old who couldn't find the words to say to men: no, please stop, actually I don't want to do this anymore.

For the 25 year old who realised she'd been battling an eating disorder for close to ten years and hadn't said a kind word to her body in all that time

.For the girl who could never in a million years, never ever have imagined that she would find the courage to share her inner struggles publicly. Or that she would be received with such love, support and grace.

Or that one day she would be in the incredibly fortunate position of helping others in their own journey.

For the Woman that girl became.

And for all the beautiful souls out there who don't yet know their true worth, their gorgeous essence.

For those moments when we battle to find that inner peace and sense of self which can feel so fleeting but is in fact our truth.

May you look in the mirror today and see your gloriousness reflected back at you.

May you hold your inner critic with compassion, knowing she's trying to protect you.

May you feel your enoughness with every fibre of your being.