Until a few years ago I used to be really scared about losing my sense of happiness and fulfilment. Having fought long and hard to recover from eating disorders and depression, the last thing I wanted to do was fall back into the blackness. And so I invested hundreds of hours (and pounds!) into making sure I never went down that rabbit hole again.
Without being consciously aware of it, my underlying belief went something like: I must be careful! I could regress in any moment! I’ll only be able to stay happy if I do [insert XYZ].
And that’s not surprising. The psychology and self-help world can lead us to think that extreme vigilance and lots of action is a must to find and maintain our peace of mind. Meditation, reiki, breathing, energy healing, journaling, avoiding toxic people, healing family constellation patterns, managing your boundaries, visualisation, affirmations, past-life regression, prayer, releasing ceremonies – and the list goes on.
This is not to say that these techniques are not helpful. I’ve benefited HUGELY from them, and so have my clients.
But without a core foundation of self-approval and a deep sense of ‘enoughness’, these techniques often end up snow-balling into a never-ending cycle of more more more. And we end up innocently and inadvertently pointed away from what was inside of us all along.
Our mental and emotional well-being is innate to us.
We actually don’t have to do anything to find it/maintain it/keep it. It’s always there. IT CANNOT BE LOST. No matter how deep we are in our own particular brand of stress and unhappiness.
You are not broken or flawed. No matter how anxious or depressed or addicted or lost you feel. No matter what you’ve been through.
Your innate well-being, your healthy, happy state of mind, never leaves you. It just gets heavily obscured and covered in some moments. Like the sun hidden by clouds – we don’t need to see or experience it 24/7 to know that it’s there, and will be back.
And the more we’re able to rest into this deep core within us, as we ride this messy, crazy rollercoaster called life, the more juicy, enjoyable and freeing that rollercoaster becomes.
