Many years ago I was driving Foxy* through the Toowong roundabouts in Brisbane. It was pouring rain and as I entered the roundabout the back wheels started spinning and I was suddenly fishtailing my way across two lanes of traffic totally out of control.
Luckily Dad’s endless intonations from when we were learning to drive filled my head.
If you feel the wheels start spinning, don’t react and over-correct. Steer gently into the skid. The worst thing you can do is slam on the brakes or yank the steering wheel in the other direction – those instinctual over-corrections make things much worse.
That advice holds true for bad moods and feelings too.
When we feel low, we tend to panic. We try desperately to correct, to slam on the metaphorical breaks and resist the feeling. We numb out with food or online shopping or medicinal vinos. And/or we berate ourselves to ‘pull it together’ and ‘stop being ridiculous’ because we know others have it much worse.
And in our quest to ‘make it better’ we make it worse.
The trick is to stay with it, turning in instead of turning away or resisting. To trust our inbuilt ability to right ourselves.
And allowing our moods and feelings to pass through without attachment or judgement.
To ride those waves, fully allowing and acknowledging our feelings and letting them move through us, as emotions are designed to do.
That might look like taking a moment to take a couple of deep, gentle, grounding breaths, place your hand on your heart and name what you’re feeling: ‘I feel frustrated and sad. That’s okay. I allow myself to feel what I’m feeling. All parts of me are welcome.’
This is where lasting, life-changing freedom lives: not in never feeling low or experiencing difficult situations and emotions; but in feeling equipped to ride those waves with grace and self-compassion.
We dive deep into how to ride those waves and not get dragged under in my self-paced, online program – you can find more details here: Anxious to Unleashed.
*Foxy = my bright purple 4WD Toyota hilux. I know! 🙂
