Say it with me: I am willing to be misunderstood, judged and rejected.
For it is only in my willingness to risk this, that I am truly free.
Now don’t get me wrong, it is still my strong preference to be liked and approved of (I’m a Libran for god’s sake!)
But this is a HUGE difference between a need and a preference.
When we NEED others to like and approve of us (as I did for most of my life) …
When we’re unwilling to sit in the discomfort of their disappointment, judgment or disapproval …
Then we have no choice but to contort ourselves to avoid it.
And so we (subconsciously, innocently) devote our precious energy to people-pleasing, fawning, self-criticising, over-giving and over-working.
All the while eroding our vitality and wellbeing, and taking us further and further away from what we truly want.
The good news?? Leaning into disapproval and judgement is a practice that can be cultivated.
And in doing so we unleash the freedom within …
To make choices that are truly our own.
To disappoint others to be true to ourselves.
To withstand the judgment of those who don’t understand.